Let's Just Talk

 Sleep, a necessary aspect of life, it's not only important to restore the functionalities of the mind but to keep track of time. My relationship with this entity has been quite difficult. Sometimes I spend my nights sleeping through the afternoon while sometimes cursing myself for all the things I've done before. I'll never be able to understand sleep, but time is one such evil queen that has healed and also broken me at times. It's quite idiotic but I do feel like I'm running out of time. If we do the maths right an average human lives for about 60-70 years I've just been alive for 18. Still have forty-ish years, right? I looked back at an old video I made, it was some random images of me and my friends from 2016 to 2018 or something I created at the start of the pandemic. Yeah, it still cringed. Like if I was watching a rainbow poop of a unicorn. It was still made after we got separated but... (sigh)... nevermind. A near-death, a heartbreak, and the worst bet...

Life's kinda crazy. Maybe I should just get it tattooed somewhere. It's miserable. The simple fact is that I can't get what I want even if I try. The fact that the world wouldn't let me live the way I want nor just let me die. I've seen death so close but it never kissed me. The misery is inevitable. I envy those who died before me. The world is a beautifully crafted illusion; one that promises greatness at the cost of your sanity. Love an emotional connection we say, is merely just some chemical secretion in the gray mass we call the brain. Yet, it holds the power to crush the greatest. I still don't understand why I still love the same person. Am I a dog, loyal to just one hypothetical individual, or a crazy person who doesn't have any other options? Am I a practical joke in the grand scheme of things? Oh. Wait jokes have meaning. My body just hates me. The day my exams were over I got a dry cough. It was like "Hey, don't have anything to worry ab...