Let's Just Talk

 I avoid writing on pages I so wish someday I could rip off. That being said, I remember a recent dream I had. So intricate, as each part narrated a story. I was at a place I knew, yet unfamiliar I might have even spent my early childhood there, but now, it's no more than a mystery. I carried luggage, some of mine, friends, and family. As we travelled with the weight I felt more suffocated as we walked further. As we walked the path, my eyes met her. We waved hands, smiling at one another from a distance. Like I knew her, more than myself. As peace flooded my veins, the weight was gone. I broaden my arms for a hug, well.. She wasn't into it. After an awkward handshake, we walked together as strangers again. Alone on these empty roads, yet an unfamiliar feeling in my heart.

“It was as usual of a day; I woke up and headed to my work as usual. Got some stuff done at the office and finished my university assignments. I was quite proud of myself. Until. I was walking the same path, reminded of you. Those giggles echoed in my ears. Your smile burnt an image so unforgettable in my eyes. The park bench is empty where we once hung out. Everything is so empty with you gone. I couldn’t sleep. I rolled around in the bed and tried a glass of wine or two, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t help but call you here. So, tell me about your days?”   “They are quite alright,” she replied. “I’m just sorry.” “For what?” She asked. “Everything. You were right, you know? I was indeed a brat.” “Oh please, I said that in anger. I didn’t mean it.” “Well, it was true.” “K...” she sighed. “I remember everything, the way I saw it back then was just biased. I felt angry, a victim of injustice. I was selfish, self-centred, straight up an asshole, to you and them.” “It’s in the past, K...

Life is filled with ups and downs. There will be days when I felt like I hit rock bottom. I have reflected on the worst days many times, but the one time when I felt the best, I’ve never really talked much about it. I had always been that kid who was always shy. Hiding from facing an audience, more like I mess up once and didn’t want to mess up again. In fourth grade, we performed a play, Hansel and Gretel. Did I act? No. In actuality, I was the narrator. The play was a success. Teachers liked my English back then. Well, soon 4 years later. I was asked to be the host with a classmate. She and I were ready for it. We even planned and drafted a script in English. Guess what happened next? We were given a pre-written script in Hindi. Sure, no problem with that, but it was the content of the script that. Hit me, it was cringing. Mostly it was filled with a few flirting dialogues. I wasn’t okay with it. I messed up all of it. She made up for both of our lines. I constantly shuddered. Each l...

K, from 2021, once said , "Human have many tricks up their sleeves when it comes to survival. One such crucial skill is deception or manipulation. You might have heard how it is a malpractice, but there lies something more beneath the surface. Sure, you might have once encountered manipulative people around you, there's at least one Joe in our lives who knows how to get their work done. Sometimes it's just second nature for many. Gemini (if you believe in Zodiac) are considers to be natural manipulators, but what if were to tell you no one is born manipulator. With age you just get better at this game. Life is a game, and manipulation is your mega weapon at winning it. The only difference will be the goal you are trying to achieve. To be honest with you all form of manipulation is good; from the perspective of manipulator, that is. In animal kingdom, smaller Cuttlefish pretends to be a female to attract larger males and mate with their partners, yeah sounds cringe but i...

  I wish to be nothing, simply stop existing forever. A world where I didn’t die but never was. A reality where I couldn’t.   The idea of nothingness fascinates people, as it still is something to be nothing. As nothing cannot exist.   Left alone, yet I’m not lonely. My demons still follow, I can hear their whispers getting louder. With all eyes watching, I hold back.   Darkness comforts me, it softens the chaos within. Isolates me from the drama outside.   As I drift through space, the pain washes by as water. The voices bring knowledge. As the illusion of nothing is the spark for everything. A singularity is yet to be broken. A purpose yet to be discovered. A meaning yet to be defined.   The nothing, reminds me, what matters.   ~ Kaushik Tambe