Let's Just Talk

K, from 2021, once said , "Human have many tricks up their sleeves when it comes to survival. One such crucial skill is deception or manipulation. You might have heard how it is a malpractice, but there lies something more beneath the surface. Sure, you might have once encountered manipulative people around you, there's at least one Joe in our lives who knows how to get their work done. Sometimes it's just second nature for many. Gemini (if you believe in Zodiac) are considers to be natural manipulators, but what if were to tell you no one is born manipulator. With age you just get better at this game. Life is a game, and manipulation is your mega weapon at winning it. The only difference will be the goal you are trying to achieve. To be honest with you all form of manipulation is good; from the perspective of manipulator, that is. In animal kingdom, smaller Cuttlefish pretends to be a female to attract larger males and mate with their partners, yeah sounds cringe but i...

Life is meaningless, irrational, yet certain things mean more than anything else in this universe. Suffering is justified for what we love doing. Cooking a basic meal one day feels more accomplished than a business deal. Painting a portrait you'll never share with the world brings more joy. These aren't acts of laziness. In my eyes, it is us living for ourselves. In a world of dishonesty, we fear the truth. We fear the idea of no grand design, we wish for a reward and therefore we behave, just like puppies for treats. With time, you lose the sense of joy, with time you grow impatient waiting to be rewarded with happiness. Frustrated with the world as it is, I wish to be in a world inhabited by my creations, a world that thinks like me. Based on the beliefs I hold; a hypothetical paradise governs by logic. A world where my fixations, my addictions, and my anxiety cannot bother me, what will it be to live in a world where we are indeed free? No unspoken rules, a world where you c...

  I wish to be nothing, simply stop existing forever. A world where I didn’t die but never was. A reality where I couldn’t.   The idea of nothingness fascinates people, as it still is something to be nothing. As nothing cannot exist.   Left alone, yet I’m not lonely. My demons still follow, I can hear their whispers getting louder. With all eyes watching, I hold back.   Darkness comforts me, it softens the chaos within. Isolates me from the drama outside.   As I drift through space, the pain washes by as water. The voices bring knowledge. As the illusion of nothing is the spark for everything. A singularity is yet to be broken. A purpose yet to be discovered. A meaning yet to be defined.   The nothing, reminds me, what matters.   ~ Kaushik Tambe

 I never realized the truth was staring right at me. If I hadn't felt invincible, the fall wouldn't have been this massive. I was so ignorant, I never realized I was wrong. I wish I knew nothing. I wish I couldn't recall it happening. Each day walking the same path, I'm reminded of that miserable moment. In solitude, the past haunts me. Why couldn't you simply be forgotten? I always imagine how wonderful it would be to wake up without your memories. Yet I fear life would be inconsequential. The suffering is all I have left. It's the only way I can still remember you. An obsession I regret, yet I can't lose it.

Silence. There's always something quite interesting about it, I never really understood why is it capable of driving one insane yet so calming. Why are we all drawn to it yet we run away from it? I have episodes of sleepless nights, not that I'm overthinking. But I feel restless, I don't know the reason. And those days when I sleep, I don't feel like waking up from these dreams. Silence still continues to astonish me; as the world around me rests I'm accompanied by the silent night. The peace that guides my fingertips across the keyboard or the wind that encourages my pen across the paper. Sometimes this silence inspires me. Those nights when I don't understand what I feel like, the same silence voices my tears. It's a pity it never says a word. I miss those times when I was unaware of the monsters I carry inside me. A trauma that never healed, a pain I never really understood. I sought a cure outside, wanting to fit in. Like I need to be fixed before I grow...

We all have felt melancholy at some point in life. Like there's nothing but an endless silence, nothing matters, nor do you care. You find everything so pointless, yet there's a massive hole you don't understand how to fill. A body where the soul just lost the enthusiasm to live. Often times I find myself asking paradoxical questions, and sometimes I find them suicidal in the end. Even if I tried I never really understand what makes these questions sound creepy or demotivating. The premise is simple, I just wanna understand the fundamentals and core reasons for specific human actions or even my own. Am I crazy to ask, why I shiver on heights despite knowing I can't die from the fall as long as don't jump? And even if I could, what holds me back. If life is so miserable why does one still go along with it rather than just end it if they can? I did all I could but I can never understand this state of life. Melancholy. A sadness without a specific cause, a pain without...

I wasn't able to sleep today, woke at 4, took a shower and i was starving so I decided to make oat meal with milk. I roasted some oats till i could smell them, then i added milk. I stired and it absorbed all the milk so I added more. I added just enough to cover the oats then some salt, yes salt! I stired and stired. Then it almost felt like too thick. I added water let it sit, till it was the perfect consistency. Added a tiny amount of cheese some salt to taste. And finally herbs. Give it a mix and we have an almost white sauce oatmeal. This might still need some work but it tastes good to my tastebuds.