It's been 4 years now...

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It's been 4 years now.

I don't remember what took over that day, as I stood there lost in my rage on that bridge. I never quite understood why I felt what I felt, but somthing cracked. I loved you, but I was enraged by you. So frustrated I almost texted you a rant.



I still kept it, maybe I'm a drama queen. But it's been 4 years, and I still can't shake that feeling off. Each day it's repeated in my nightmares.

I wanted to scream, I cared for you, but all I felt was neglected. Rejected. Judged.

And I still can't stand it when someone makes me feel that way. Boiling my blood with rage, making me wanna rip their hearts out so they finally feel what I feel, heartless.


I remember asking you once.



You were once my safety net, but then you let me fall into the darkest pits of hell of my own creation.

I ripped my heart out as an offering to you, but I squashed it before giving it to you.

I'm not healing, thanks to you my Periwinkle. You were adorable but tragic. I never lost so much of myself when loving someone else, but for you, I smiled as I bled.


It's been 4 years, yet I'm not healing. If you remember this date, this was when my castle came falling.

Yet I spend my nights hoping your doing okay, that you are smiling, that somehow losing me made your life better. If so I'm happier being your villain.

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