Let's Just Talk

 In the beginning, there was nothing, then the universe was born, filled with ionized particles, and immense radiation. As new starts were created some were dying along the way. Each explosion caused another. Then one day our Sun was born, the universe had gotten much more habitable at this point and our Earth refuged life. As life evolved it got more complex, especially humans. We dominated the planet with our ability to adapt almost anywhere. We created society, a complex system where one is assigned a role to play for the pack's survival. As Mankind got its hands on the first stone weapon thus began the rise of technology. We barely know when we got sentient or had a true sense of consciousness. Much of human history is lost to time and much of the information out there is just as unreliable. Ancient scholars, religious leaders and writers, all came up with their own explanations about the origin of life and its purpose. Each right in his own way, yet so wrong from the oth...

 “What would be left of me when I lose all my hope?” I asked. If nothing but a corpse moaning over pain, I could never reason. As all I wrote becomes just as meaningless as my existence. As reality gets more twisted, faith holds no value. As the world collapses, I could sense the darkness rising. Lost in the epicentre of the storm, I could barely control it. The destruction is inevitable. The loss is irreversible. A world of defeat, a world where I was consumed by my demons. As the little boy, who once hoped for love, lie lifeless in my arms. I regret the monster I became. I thought I could fix it. I could save reality. I failed. I failed them all. Nothing matters. Death is inevitable. He feared it. So, he ran, afraid of the reminders of his mortality he ran. Cried after watching strangers’ funerals, ran away from the truth that death was natural. He kept running, too afraid to live. Then, he found love. Just a glimpse of the reality of what it could be. He trusted his hear...

 I avoid writing on pages I so wish someday I could rip off. That being said, I remember a recent dream I had. So intricate, as each part narrated a story. I was at a place I knew, yet unfamiliar I might have even spent my early childhood there, but now, it's no more than a mystery. I carried luggage, some of mine, friends, and family. As we travelled with the weight I felt more suffocated as we walked further. As we walked the path, my eyes met her. We waved hands, smiling at one another from a distance. Like I knew her, more than myself. As peace flooded my veins, the weight was gone. I broaden my arms for a hug, well.. She wasn't into it. After an awkward handshake, we walked together as strangers again. Alone on these empty roads, yet an unfamiliar feeling in my heart.

“It was as usual of a day; I woke up and headed to my work as usual. Got some stuff done at the office and finished my university assignments. I was quite proud of myself. Until. I was walking the same path, reminded of you. Those giggles echoed in my ears. Your smile burnt an image so unforgettable in my eyes. The park bench is empty where we once hung out. Everything is so empty with you gone. I couldn’t sleep. I rolled around in the bed and tried a glass of wine or two, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t help but call you here. So, tell me about your days?”   “They are quite alright,” she replied. “I’m just sorry.” “For what?” She asked. “Everything. You were right, you know? I was indeed a brat.” “Oh please, I said that in anger. I didn’t mean it.” “Well, it was true.” “K...” she sighed. “I remember everything, the way I saw it back then was just biased. I felt angry, a victim of injustice. I was selfish, self-centred, straight up an asshole, to you and them.” “It’s in the past, K...

Life is filled with ups and downs. There will be days when I felt like I hit rock bottom. I have reflected on the worst days many times, but the one time when I felt the best, I’ve never really talked much about it. I had always been that kid who was always shy. Hiding from facing an audience, more like I mess up once and didn’t want to mess up again. In fourth grade, we performed a play, Hansel and Gretel. Did I act? No. In actuality, I was the narrator. The play was a success. Teachers liked my English back then. Well, soon 4 years later. I was asked to be the host with a classmate. She and I were ready for it. We even planned and drafted a script in English. Guess what happened next? We were given a pre-written script in Hindi. Sure, no problem with that, but it was the content of the script that. Hit me, it was cringing. Mostly it was filled with a few flirting dialogues. I wasn’t okay with it. I messed up all of it. She made up for both of our lines. I constantly shuddered. Each l...